The Golden Rule
Count Household Need,
Not Perceived Need
How long does this task actually take when someone just sits down and does it? That's your number. Not how long it takes with distractions, not how long it takes when someone insists on redoing it three times.
Yard mowing
One partner knocks out the lawn in 1.5 hours. The other spends 3 hours re-edging, going over the same patches twice, fiddling with mower settings. The household need is 1.5 hours.
COUNT THIS
1.5 hours to get the lawn done
DON'T COUNT
The extra 1.5 hours of fussing over edges
How to Estimate Time
Picture a Normal Week
Not the week the dishwasher flooded and the car broke down. Not the week you were on holiday. Just a regular, boring, nothing-special week.
EXAMPLE
"I grocery shop about once a week for 1.5 hours" → Enter 6 hours/month (1.5 hours × 4 weeks)
Being There Isn't the Same as Doing It
Count time you're actually hands-on with the task. Just being in the room doesn't count.
✓ COUNT THIS
Sitting with the kids, walking them through problems, explaining long division for the fourth time
✗ DON'T COUNT THIS
Scrolling your phone on the couch while the kids figure out their homework on their own
Don't Forget the Behind-the-Scenes Work
Most tasks have a planning layer nobody sees. The shopping trip is visible; the meal plan and grocery list that made it possible are not. These count as separate tasks.
Grocery Shopping is really 4 tasks:
- →Meal planning (1.5× cognitive, because you're juggling preferences, nutrition, and the calendar)
- →Writing the list (1.3× cognitive)
- →The actual shop (1.4× physical + cognitive)
- →Hauling it inside and putting it all away (1.1× physical)
Kids' Activities breaks down too:
- →Finding the right program and signing them up (1.5× invisible management)
- →Keeping the schedule straight and coordinating rides (1.5×)
- →The driving itself (1.0× baseline, it's just driving)
Round It Off and Move On
Half-hour chunks are fine. Nobody needs to know whether vacuuming took 47 minutes or 52. "About an hour" works.
Where People Go Wrong
Padding Time with Distractions
Three hours of "cleaning" where two of those hours were Instagram breaks? The house needed one hour of actual cleaning.
SOLUTION
Ask: "If I just powered through this with no interruptions, how long would it take?"
Both Claiming the Same Task
You both say "I do all the cooking." That math doesn't work. Someone's memory is off, or you're counting different things.
SOLUTION
Open Book mode: talk it through task by task. Reveal mode: just be honest about what you actually do, not what you feel like you do.
Overlooking the Systems You Built
You spent weeks creating the morning routine, the chore chart, the meal rotation. Now it runs on autopilot and nobody remembers who set it up. That planning work has a 1.5× multiplier for a reason.
SOLUTION
Check for tasks like "Family calendar management," "Meal planning," and "Activity logistics." That's where system-building lives.
Confusing "On Call" with Active Work
Two hours of "watching the kids" while they play independently in the backyard is not two hours of childcare. It's real, but it's different.
SOLUTION
Count the minutes you're actually engaged. If you're stepping in every 20 minutes, count those interventions.
Keeping Score While Filling It Out
"I definitely work harder." Maybe. But the whole point of this tool is to let the data show that instead of your gut feeling.
SOLUTION
Just record your own time honestly. The results page does the comparing for you.
Getting Stuck on Exact Numbers
"I have no idea if laundry takes me 3.5 or 4 hours a month!" It doesn't matter that much.
SOLUTION
Your best guess is fine. The confidence bands are built to absorb that kind of fuzziness. A rough answer now beats a perfect answer you never get around to.
A Few Things That Help
Hit the big tasks first
Anything over 30 minutes a week is worth tracking carefully. The 5-minute stuff? Worry about that later, or skip it entirely.
Add tasks we missed
Your household is unique. If something isn't on the list, the "Add Custom Task" button lets you create it with a suggested multiplier.
Monthly math is easier
Instead of calculating weekly averages for irregular tasks, just think: "I do this twice a month, about 3 hours each time." Done. 6 hours.
Seasonal stuff counts too
Snow shoveling, gutter cleaning, holiday gift shopping. Add up the year and divide by 12 to get a monthly number.
You can come back to it
Progress saves in your browser automatically. Do half now, half tomorrow. No rush.
"What About...?"
We can't agree on how long a task takes. Now what?
Go with the efficient time (the "household need"). Still stuck? Set a timer next week and find out for real. This isn't about winning the argument.
I do the task more thoroughly than my partner would.
Count the time to meet the standard the household actually needs. If the bathroom is clean after 30 minutes but you spend an extra 20 detailing grout with a toothbrush, the household need is 30 minutes. The extra effort is your choice.
What about emotional labor?
Honestly, this tool isn't great at capturing it. Things like "being the one who always notices when someone's upset" don't fit neatly into hours per month. Worth talking about together, but it lives outside what a task audit can measure.
Does managing contractors or hired help count?
Absolutely. Use "Vendor / contractor management" with its 1.5× cognitive multiplier. Finding the plumber, getting three quotes, scheduling around everyone's calendar, being home for the appointment, checking the work after? That's a real job.
